Hi! My name is Shalini, and I’ve worked for a South Asian Dating app for 4 years now. Reading all the success stories every day, I was always caught up on the “when you know, just know” and was more than desperate to have a love story like that for myself. One thing I forgot was people only share the good things. So here’s my attempt to sharing the bad things too: the real side to dating.

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After many failed dating stages, I also realized there was a gap in knowledge on the correct way to heal and date. There are so many nuanced emotions and experiences that simply aren’t discussed in typical dating narratives. I learned this the hard way, navigating the highs and lows of each encounter without much guidance.

I often found myself wondering why I couldn’t replicate those magical tales I read about—those seemingly perfect matches that fell into place effortlessly. But the truth is, the journey of dating is rarely straightforward. It’s filled with moments of joy, disappointment, confusion, and growth.

In my experience, many people overlook the importance of self-reflection and healing between relationships. After each disappointing date or unreciprocated affection, I realized the need to let go of past experiences before stepping into new ones. Healing is not just an empty platitude; it’s a crucial part of the dating process that many neglect.

There are practical aspects too that I wish I had known sooner: red flags to look out for, the importance of setting boundaries, and understanding that not every connection will lead to a romance. It’s okay to walk away when something doesn’t feel right, even if it means stepping back from the potential ‘magical’ moment.

So, this is my attempt to share the reality of dating. More people should see what the day-to-day reality looks like beyond the magical success stories. There’s so much growth, learning, and yes, sometimes pain, that accompanies the quest for love.