1/8 - Don’t care

Good news is that I don’t feel irrated or bloated anymore. But I still do feel overwelhmed.

Just like I need to take a deep breath, and just restrategize and retap into my intuition.

I woke up being drained, but did my whole hair care routine today. Trying some new products, so that took a long time. But it’s okay because I’m trying to look and feel my best.

While we had an all-hands meeting, my boss told everyone, and everyone was just silent. That’s when I knew everyone was over it that no one was fighting. No one cares anymore.

Still heated from the situation, I was so close to being like okay.. idc I know what I’m going to do. Only to see more stuff on the news about immigration things happening and feeling affected by that.

And that’s when I realized that no one my problems actually went away. I just keep ignoring them. And while I’m doing that, I just feel more and more trauma building up that I need to release.

On one hand, I keep telling myself life isn’t real. I need to make drastic leaps to see drastic rewards only for me to be back in reality on maybe I don’t have the ability to make the drastic leaps.

Sometimes my dreams feel further away than closer. And it’s getting harder to show up. On the other note, I did my fake engagement ring that I ordered yesterday and it looks so good!

Today mom for a second even scared me about getting married, and I was sooo close to get on the apps again just because I was falling into her fear but that’s when I was like no. I’m not emotionally regulated, and anything I do from fear is not okay.

5/10 - Just feel more and more stressed.

Inutition - It’s my fear that’s holding me back. I need to continue to do what feels right to my intuition no matter what is happening in the world. Don’t let fear drive your world.