4/6 - Projection
My mom and I decided we were going to make today a cleaning day but honestly drained from yesterday, I woke up late and was dragging to get a couple of things done like putting my laundry away, etc. I started a new show while trying to get my steps in because I knew we were going to be out tonight, actually really liked the show. It was with Kate Hudson, and she’s such a good actress.
Anyways my best friend texted me basically saying stop like I don’t know my boundaries and stuff. I don’t even remember anymore. There honestly was a point in time when I took everything she said to heart and to some level it even dictated the way I moved. She once said I give up on people too easily, so I fought for everyone after. But honestly, I’m starting to realize she’s one of those people that says everything she feels about herself as a projection. It’s almost like the hottest word in her vocabulary and she just goes around throwing it around. And i can’t believe it took me until this long to break free from caring about what she says. And literally treating it like noise.
I finally clearly see it all as projection. And my ground doesn’t feel shaken. If anything you can’t let anyone that doesn’t know you to your core, dictate things about you, even if they’re your best friend. She has never handled things correctly, neither do I respect the way she handles situations, so why would I live according to her beliefs.
Idk who she thinks she is making statements about my life when she can barely handle her own. And to think I let this person’s words ruin my whole self relationship with relationships when literally she herself doesn’t have a grasp.
Disgusting but also eye-opening and freeing. It’s crazy but I feel like I have a new pair of glasses and just see things very differently than I did literally even a year ago. Things are much more clear now because I feel like I’ve gone through it all.
My test her is to see if I let people’s words get to me or if I believe in myself sooooo much that no one can shake me. I know my truth, my purpose, and my heart, and my identity and that’s all that matters. I continue to move forward as my highest version.
And right now my highest version knows what she is and did. I know whatever she’s saying isn’t my truth. it’s her truth.
Anyways, we went to the mandir and tbh I felt like everyone was staring at me. I decided to wear some pretty earrings and everything because why not?
The truth is I am taking more space up everywhere, and it’s different but I feel more aligned to myself than I ever have. I’ve always been a lot of space, so idk who I was shrinking for all these years. And now I finally don’t care.
Came home and also finished the show I was watching.
8/10 - Peaceful praying but also annoyed dealing with someone that’s just name calling to have “control”
Intuiton - God is with me, and yes usually things are just a projection.
Energy:
40% - Dealing with BS
30% - healing from friendship trauma
30% - praying and trying to remain in peace
