4/7 - Done being nice
I dropped mom off and then came back home to get some stuff done. I decided to have a calm start and start reading “let them”. Even the couple of minutes into reading it, i feel like I took away a lot. She uses the 5-4-3-2-1 method to get things she wants to get done, saying “let them” to free control, and even her story of being in debt, imposter syndrome, doing things she was scared of, etc.
Honestly a very good read so far.
I logged onto work and was automatically triggered. I realized that the co-worker I was complaining about didn’t do anything she said she was going to do all weekend. So I sternly asked her a question, and she literally lied about everything saying she had an emergency.
Truth is she just was too busy in her own life going to her events that she forgot.
And that’s when I decided I was done with her. So I told my boss and surprisingly he didn’t question me once. He was straight up like I can fire her today if you want me to.
My other employee has also been literally taking a sick day every monday, which is BS. Cause I see her literally making her wedding invitations on canva. So she’s lying too.
Overall just not a big fan of people lying.
I know when people just aren’t it, but I continue to give them chances. I reason their behavior, fear karma, and try being a good person by giving a fair shot. When I knew they were shit from the start.
I was about to do this with “arrange guy” too. I clearly knew our lifestyles didn’t match but still wanted to give me a shot.
Anyways, idk what energy is in the air but I almost feel like “You can’t fuck with me anymore. I’m done with you.”
She probably felt this because 10 minutes later she messaged me saying she was crying. And honestly I don’t give a shit anymore. She knew this launch was important to me. I emphasized it so many times, and she still fucked up. At this point, she’s taking advantage of my niceness.
I’m not just going to watch her to see what she does while I find a replacement. Does she do everything I asked her to do and step it up? Or is she going to self-sabatage even more? “Let them” do what they want to do. And I’ll do what I need to do.
In the spirit of all this, I decided I just wanted some space from work and decided to take tomorrow off. Did I really need it? not really but felt like it might be good to just detach and get other things done.
However, smh, I ended up staying up late to get some social work done. Again not even my job, but still sucked it up and did it. Which again proved to me that yeah she needs to go.
The question is why do I fear karma so much? What’s up with trying to give everyone a fair shot. Maybe my test actually is not do that. Because all that happens is I waste time and energy.
Plus in dating, I can’t give everyone a fair chance. Lol it’s just not possible. So why in life? Why do I treat energy and time as disposable and free? Back to my lessons from yoga that one week. Maybe I really am stealing from myself. Because clearly trying to give someone a fair shot that I know doesn’t deserve it is always at the expense at me. And doing things at the expense of me is literally a lack of self-respect.
Intuition - Giving someone else a chance is not giving myself a chance to thrive.
8/10 - really annoyed but feeling empowered
Energy:
80% - dealing with useless people
20% - trying to just do my own thing and get things done off my checklist
Clearly I’m putting my energy in the wrong things.
