10/24 - Healing from negative friendships

Today pased by so quick that I don’t even know where the day went. In all honesty, I feel like that’s how most of my days are passing by lately. My sleep scedule was a little messed up because of the coffe from yesterday, so woke up a little late and then was just working for most of the day.

I finally got my walking treadmil and some accessories for my room, so decided to assemble it. The room is really coming together and just feels like a safe space. Since I’m trying to cut down on coffee and coffee shops, elevating my room just feels right. The only thing missing now is some wall art and some curtains.

Today was a special day to buy gold, so my mom and I went to Malabar and got this cute diamond necklace sets. Growing up, I’d see my parents buying gold but this is actually the first time that I went to go get something for myself and I honestly love it. Like who needs men to buy stuff. I literally give myself everything. Also, was just feeling grateful to be in a position where I can go with my mom.

We had tacos for dinner, and then did 8k steps on the treadmil while I yapped with M. The group chat has been a little caty lately so we were reflecting on that.

I also told her how honestly there’s this one friend that literally has just been a secret hater. Literally never shows support to anyone. And honestly when I was younger, I actually cared about her validation but as you get older you just realize those that don’t support anyone actually have no one. If anything they’re emotionally unavailable and are the ones that are struggling to validate themselves deep down. And it only makes sense because when your cup is full, you fill other people’s cup. And when your cup is empty, you take from everyone’s cup.

8/10 - grateful but also too much catiness everywhere