12/18 - Hit my fitness actual fitness goal today

I FINALLY HIT MY ULTIMATE WEIGHT GOAL FOR THE YEAR. Literally the weight I would tell myself I already was when I really started seeing a difference. It finally happened. And I’m so proud of myself. I truly could do anything I set my mind too, and I really feel and look great.

Yesterday, I mentioned something was really really stressing me out. And so I decided I was going to tell my boss tomorrow, but just replaying over and over again what to say was bringing a lot of anxiety and just stressing me out. At first, I was like if I have unshakeable trust in god, why do I have so much anxiety but realized it was just because I was anticipating telling someone something. Although the situation is really different, almost feels similar to having relationship anxiety and bringing up problems. Like lol I can’t believe I used to live like this at one point.

I had a dentist appointment in the morning. My teeth kind of still hurt from it.

And then decided I needed to stop stressing so took myself on a solo date to the movies. Which again like I mentioned yesterday is almost foreign for me. I would treat going to the movies or going out to eat as a way to spend time with other people. Now days, I love my own company and literally have no shame for it. Not once did I feel weird sitting myself. In fact, I’m like why is it so stigmatized. It’s literally a movie. People watch movies at home by themselves, so why not the theaters? Saw Wicked - overall take on it is that it’s a bit overhyped. I feel like I would have like moana 2 better.

I also was starving by the end of it but refused to eat junk food, especially after hitting my PR today. Came home made a virgin drinky and air-fried homemade Chicken Samosas and Tandoori Chicken for protein. Even made a couple of Tiktoks at night.

9/10 - Although the slight anxiety is still there. I’m soo so proud of myself for hitting my fitness goal and just truly owning “dating” myself.

Intuition - I need to do the same thing with the stuff I’m stressing about. After I tell my boss tomorrow. I need to forget about and move in the world like it’s already mine.