12/29 - You are who you attract

Last night earlier in the day, I was talking to my friend P while going home and while he was super happy for me and my glow-up, I told him I would be proud of him when he quits smoking. And that’s when he was like I’d do it if the girl I’m with tells me to stop because she’ll be my emotional support too. And that’s when I’m like no… so I kept thinking about it and decided to text him a paragraph and literally that paragraph literally gave me all the clarity I needed as well.

Text I sent below:

Okay so I decided I’m going to type it out, so you can read it on days you’re feeling a bit weak and need motivation to keep going.

As you know, I’ve really been working on myself the past couple of months and there’s a couple of things that I’ve learned to genuinely heal and become the highest version of myself.

No one is going to come save you. You saying you’ll quit when a girl becomes your emotional support is you wanting to be saved. If anything that proves you still have internal work left to do because you don’t value yourself enough to be your own emotional support. It’s equivalent to a girl with abandonment issues waiting for a guy to choose her and never leave her. If anything the universe will keep putting her in circumstances UNTIL she chooses herself.

You attract what you are. Maybe you keep attracting girls that also don’t choose themselves because you’re not choosing yourself.

you’ve genuinely worked on yourself mentality and physically that you’re so close to being the highest version of yourself and you can just feel it. This is literally the last thing that needs to be done. I don’t think you’ve gotten with your person yet because only your highest version will have this person. You’re meant to have someone that has also worked on themselves because you won’t accept less.

Again back with the you attract who you are. Think about who this high value woman would be attracted to. I guarantee she’s not going to wait for a man to change because then she’s not high value. Example: you work so hard at the gym that you refuse to date someone that doesn’t put in physical work as well. You won’t accept someone that just “wants” to go the gym. She needs to be deep in. It works the same for mental health. A high value woman knows what she wants and she deserves that because she’s put in the work herself. If she’s waiting for a guy to change, she still needs to heal. A high value woman and guy that needs to heal just aren’t on the same frequency to begin with, so they won’t cross paths.

Point is… either you also accept someone that has some internal work that needs to be done too because you do too or you become perfect and attract only perfect.

At the moment, I feel like you still have work to be done, but want perfect, which is why you’re not finding your person. You’re not on the same frequency.

Overall, I know you got this. You’re so close. 🫶🏽

Also, the sooner you do it, the closer you are to finding your person. Just trust me. Literally just quit and I promise everything will start flowing in.

I don’t need to worry about rules, or asking the right questions or finding ways to identify the wrong people. Literally all anyone needs to do is work on themselves, so they only attract those that are in the same frequency as them. And literally I wrote this as my first healing journal and that’s how I started my healing but just rereading it when I’m at the almost end made it make even more sense than before.

^ that all happened before 2am. The rest of the day was preparing for my friend’s engagement. Got my steps in earlier in the day and then just got ready.

This was her second time getting engaged and seeing her happy just brought tears to my eyes.

During her engagement, another friend was really pissing me off by having a side comment for everything I was doing. Like it’s my friend’s engagement, whom i’m closer to, let me do what I want to do. And normally I would just shut down thinking I’m being a lot and let her over power. Today, I literally rolled my eyes, ignored her and literally would not talk to her, clearly indicating she was being annoying. She got the hint and acted right the rest of the night. And this to me was a clear sign of my self-worth and progress that not even the people that had power over me before have power over me now. Literally, I will not let anyone gaslight me. My friend M was even like you shut her down. And literally this was the first time this has ever happened, so I’m so proud of myself. Not once did I question if I was being too much. If anything I continued to do what I was doing, doubled down on it, and shut her out. If she said one more thing, I was actually so close to being like “Hey, I need space from you.” and walk away because how dare you make me feel less than you. I don’t owe you anything to act your way.

10/10 - Literally the most enlightening day of my year

Intuition - This is just the start of where my self worth will take me