2/7 - Being my own enemy

After some chat gpting yesterday, found some ways to be professional and also direct in addressing the coworker issue. I am annoyed at the fact I do have to do this, but whatever going to treat this as a learning experience and get it over with. I also have more proof that she is lying. The way the gut just knows is insane. And again she is underperforming. I don’t care if people lie to me and are getting their work done. I have a problem when they’re not getting their work done.

I also woke up, got ready, just because I knew if I was dressed I would be in character to work on my dreams and I did just that. I made a game plan on all the things I needed to get done and also made some headway on it.

I did have to do some emergency personal thing but fought through the anxiety and got it done. Just reminded me that I can get anything done, even through anxiety.

Also ended up having a brief call with my boss and it was much more intense in my head than actually. He just wanted us to focus on other things, which I was already working on, so he didn’t say much there. It’s crazy how I was really going crazy over it to find out I didn’t need to worry about it at all.

We are own enemies sometimes. And other times are guts are right, but we are selves actually know the difference between gut and fear.

I also had this urge to connect with friends today. I think it’s that Friday feeling or working in corporate for so long where I’m comfortable in believing that Friday - Sunday is no work. But not today, not this weekend. If I want to follow my dreams, I need to get over this corporate feeling and know everyday is work day and it’s okay.

This urge might also be another test to see if I fall into comfort or fight for my dreams. But can I make it fun instead of work? I don’t want to dread it. I need to find a way to make the connotation for it positive and channel some positive vibes to it.

I need to go back to having fun with it, like I’m just learning a new skill.

For the past couple of days, I have been feeling a bit negative towards my dreams and less confident but I am determined to not let anything stop me.

8/10 - A good amount of internal fighting, but I got this.

Intuition - Nothing can stop me. I am super close, and I just need to keep pushing through and change it to love instead of hate/fear.