2/9 - responsibility for your actions
Today ended up being a completely unexpected day. The plan was to wake up early and get everything on my Etsy business launched today, and then come home and watch the super-bowl.
But.. this is how the day actually went. After proof-reading everything in the morning, I got ready because I wanted to show up as someone that was launching new business and headed to Coffee Studio again to get everything live.
Unfortunately, while I was setting up the Etsy store, I got a call from my friend saying the doctor said “no” for her grandpa and that today or tomorrow was his last day because all his organs were failing. I quickly finished up the first listing and headed to the hospital with the rest of my friends. There, everyone was sobbing. My friend had completely broken down. Her grandpa was her everything, and I already knew his passing was going to change her life completely.
Our mom’s had made food for them, so I went back home to get the food and by then they had already left the hospital, so we went to her house instead. Thankfully, they ate and while we were sitting with my friend comforting her the SuperBowl was on the TV. I must say that was the worst half-time show ever. Kendrick has great songs but the overall vibe and energy was just off. While watching the Superbowl, I couldn’t help but think that the past 2 years I was with different boyfriends. I’m glad I’m doing every holiday single this year. Gives me time to reset, like next SuperBowl I’ll just remember being with my friends. Next v-day, I’ll remember my friends’ henna party. Next Christmas and New Years, I’ll remember spending with my mom. My holidays are no longer tainted with past exes. I’m gaining power and rewriting them. Similar to how I felt visiting all my fav places in SF and New York solo. I was re-writing them with my own memories.
After getting back home, I was talking to mom and she said something like “no one supported us or it was your dad’s fault” and that’s when it hit me. That you don’t overcome something until you take responsibility for it. Sure other people not helping made it harder and my dad objecting also made it seem near impossible, but she had legs and hands. She could have ran out of the house, if she wants to she would. She just didn’t have the guts. So she can’t keep blaming everyone else her whole life. The reality is that she didn’t have guts at that time, THAT’S why it wasn’t in her destiny. It was her lesson to learn to overcome the objections from everyone else. And although delayed this healed a part of me. All my life I was wondering if my mom was wrong or if my dad was wrong. The reality is they’re responsible for their own actions. And this is what I think parents now days fail to understand. They’re always just looking for someone to blame for their own actions.
After a day of crazy, I got home to check the listings and had zero sales. And no part of me feels defeated or scared because I just know it needs marketing around it. I believe in my business and product. But this always wasn’t the case, a couple of years ago I saw the easiest thing to do was make wedding signs, so I did that and never got a sale. But it wasn’t my path/calling to begin with. I was just copying someone else. I was so defeated that I never did anything again. But it wasn’t my idea to begin with. This time, like I said I’m not defeated. This is my idea. This is my vision/path/calling. This is my goal. Literally, I’ve thought of this for 2 years. It’s mine and I know it. This idea is so deep into my brain that I would always think about it if I never acted on it. This is why I have complete faith it will work out sooner or later.
Although the day didn’t go as expected, I still at least “launched” so I’m giving myself flexibility on that.
I have my wisdom teeth surgery tomorrow, so a little nervous for that.
7/10 - Unexpected day but happy to see everyone come together in a moments notice for my friend in need
Intuition - I’m on the right path.
