2/10 - Surgery + the mountain is me

I finally got my wisdom teeth removal surgery today. It was my first surgery ever, so it was an experience. My biggest fear was waking up during the anesthesia, but thankfully I didn’t. And I also didn’t realize how fast the anesthesia kicks in. Like it was literally instant, but I kind of liked waking up with all of it being done. Felt really short, with one minute you’re asleep and the next minute you’re awake and done.

Another surprise was that I was literally completely coherent. I’ve seen so many videos of people being loopy. But not me. I was literally texting people back 5 minutes later, and listening to all the doctor instructions. My face also looked like a chipmunk, and I had gauze in my mouth the whole day to stop the bleeding. Also even drinking anything hurts, but lol I’m sooo hungry that I’ve started to create a list of food that I’m craving that I can’t wait to eat as soon as I get better.

For the rest of the day, I just tried to rest up and sleep but it was a bit hard, so was just watching movies. At night, I started the podcast “the mountain is You” and that’s when I realized a couple of things and hard like a whole need to write down all my thoughts on my “notes” app at 2am to help the anxiety I was feeling. Self help stuff usually triggers a lot of things I’m suppressing but I guess it’s good to get it out.

I just help but feel i’m been thinking a lot.

7/10 - Just in bed, sleeping, overthinking

Intuition - I need to do shadow work to work through my fears. They’re still there and they still come up and are the mountain.