1/24 - Absense

So my roommate moved out today. Although she was always in the room, the house feels a bit quiet right now. I feel an absence and I think it’s triggering a child wound of being alone even though I have my mom with me of course.

The weird part is I actually loved it when they weren’t home because it meant I could do anything. But I can’t help but have a part of me actually feel a bit sad.

The one thing I’ve learned for sure in the past couple of months is that I do have the power to take care of anything on my own. So it’s definitely not that I need someone. But the only child that grew up alone just always craved having a big family. Having people around her. That’s probably why I could never live alone because I have lived alone my whole life. And just coming home to an empty house is dreadful. Thankful I have my mom with me. But again, that’s the very reason why even in SF, I always decided to have roommates over living alone. It’s about the presence. But I do like my own space of course.

Point is - the child in me is a bit sad, but the adult in me is I got this.

The adult in me is trying to cope. That yeah, it’s quiet but there’s so much peace. And the one thing that’s so valuable is peace.

Lol the funny part is that when she was leaving, I literally didn’t even show emotion. Almost acted like I didn’t care. Meanwhile, I was a bit sad on the inside.

On the other note, everything that’s happening with politics. I feel like I live in a dream to the point I refuse to believe it as reality.

I’m trusting the universe that its just doing whatever it needs to do for me to get my wish. And with the roommates moving out, that happened to keep me and my mom safe.

I’ve learned how to cope over in the past year. I’ve learned trust and patience. I’ve learned peace.

Also, my friends are coming over tomorrow, so that might also be fun.

7/10 - Inner child was wounded but adult me handled it

Intuition - Trusting in God and staying positive and continue to have my house be my sanctuary