Step 1 - Understand you attract what you are.

You attract what you are—the reason you keep attracting the wrong people is that you haven't fully healed. If you find yourself drawing insecure or toxic people into your life, chances are you carry some of those same traits. It's time to look within, as these attractions signal unhealed parts of yourself. This is your cue to begin your healing journey if you want to attract better people into your life.

How does this show up in dating?

When you're insecure and ashamed of certain parts of yourself, you're likely to attract someone who also lacks confidence—perhaps even more so than you. Your unhealed self might view them as a safe choice, someone who won't highlight your insecurities. However, this very dynamic often becomes problematic later because it stems from your unhealed patterns.

How to work on this?

Make a list of qualities you're drawn to in the people you date. Dig deeper. What if they lacked that particular quality? What aspect of yourself is attracted to those traits? Is it a need for safety? Excitement? Motivation? Question why you feel compelled to engage with them.