3/29 - Today feels like a new beginning
I woke up with a new sense of energy today. It almost felt like a new beginning, idk just something in the air. Although it was all positive, kind of felt weird too. I’m in my luteral phase so things were still bugging me, especially my tantrum from yesterday. There were lingering feels, and I also felt bothered but also again just felt like a new chapter. Almost like new years.
My weights also been at a standstill, it’s been going back and forth around 126-125, 5 pounds shy of my actual goal, so almost also feels like I need to lock it and get back to my diet and just focus but I can’t help but crave a bunch of sweets because of my luteral phase too. Also I don’t think I’m getting as much protein in my diet lately, so have been feeling a bit more hungrier.
Anyways, just feeling the urge to cry yesterday and today, I decided I needed to go to yoga and just stretch my hips to hopefully induce a crying session.
Was feeling hungry, so also ate poha that mom made, and then went to my yoga session. My hips were super tight, everything was tight and just felt a deep need to stretch. Good thing was that I was able to move my body a lot more today, especially after getting the massage last week.
Today in yoga, the topic was stealing energy from ourselves, and honestly even though it didn’t make sense to me at first. I loved it by the end of class because honestly if I kept track of what I spent my energy daily, it would give me perspective on my own. I would realize I spent my energy on the wrong thing and that I need to shift my perspective. I also want to add that to my daily journals too somehow. Also we talked about how everything we need is within us, which was cute too.
During yoga, I also realized the reason why I was so upset from yesterday was because I almost have this want to share my wealth with my mom. Like what’s the point of wealth if I can’t show her things and have her experience. I want her to sit at fancy places because she deserves it, and its her first time doing all these things too. I want her to be happy, genuinely. I want her to experience everything I do because sharing wealth is where my happiness is. Without her, it’s all meaningless. And I know I crashed out yesterday but that’s the bottom line of it all. And just literally, my love for her has grown so much in the past year that it hurts. I love her so much, and she deserves the world and I want to show it to her. I think one of my biggest fears is not being able to share my wealth with her, which is probably was caused triggers and came to the surface.
After yoga, I went to go get a matcha, and literally a strawberry basil matcha was $10. I was lowkey kind of shocked when it rang up. Like $10, wth where is this inflation coming from for a cup of coffee. Anyways, it was still good though.
Came home and had lunch and then went to go wash my hair and style it. Today’s a special day in astrology too, so we were going to the mandir. Tried to dyson my hair. Literally even put hairspray and it did not turn on that way. I just don’t get why the curls don’t stay.
Anyways, we picked up my mom’s friend and went. Today at the mandir, I honestly felt more content than desperation. God helped me with the thing I needed the most last time I was there. Today I told god to help give my prayers and energy to the person that needs it the most. Everything is working for me in the background and I know god is taking care of me.
Came home and watched a funny movie on hulu, and now just journaling. I’m a bit behind on a lot of my routines, but it’s okay life happens. Just getting back into it matters the most.
7/10 - Lingered crash out in the morning, but excited for this new chapter.
Intuition - It is a new chapter, and I think I’m actually finally done intensely learning. It’s like I’m doing the teaching now.
Energy:
30 % - crash out from yesterday
20 % - still thinking about best friend
30 % - excited for this new chapter
20 % - gratitude and content
