3/20 - Overstimulation
Today’s topic is overstimulation. It’s crazy how I somehow just have a topic to talk about every single day.
Anyways, woke up and got ready to meet a friend at a coffee shop. She lived with us for a month, that’s how I knew her and somehow we just became close. We were texting after she moved but then she got busy and never replied, and I never double texted. She overthinks a lot, so I honestly had a feeling that she probably just felt embarrassed to answer after a while, so I wasn’t mad or anything.
Last week, she posted a picture of her niece holding a match sign and I swiped up to say congrats! That’s when she reached out and said she wanted to meet up for coffee, so we did that.
Even though I knew her, i was a bit nervous just because I knew I had to put in energy to talk to her. Even though she’s easy to talk to and it’s not like we run out of stuff to say. I got there and the place was just insanely loud, and with the barista’s calling out order numbers, I was just in fight or flight mode. After a while, I honestly just lost my train of thought and had to tell her that I’m overstimulated and I’d love to just go outside on a walk. She felt the same, and we literally instantly felt better.
Idk what it is but I’m insanely sensentive to noise now days, especially when talking to people. Coffee shops are different, I put my headphones on and almost zone it out.
I used to feel like this before too but I think I can finally label it as overstimulation and maybe just the company of someone that’s not my extreme comfort zone.
Anyways, we were catching up. I literally started my single journey with her. She was with me the first day I became single and now I’m ending my single era with her too. Me being finally ready to explore and date again.
Officially an 8-month journey of re-discovering myself and being single.
Back to the hangout - we walked around, went into lush, bookstores, and etc. For some reason, I just couldn’t get rid of the overstimulation. I just wasn’t comfortable. I felt like I had to keep moving and just keep talking. I also have a tendency to figure out her feelings too, so all her overstimulation was rubbing off on me. We also sat in the car and talked for a while too. She was telling me how she feels like she’s outgrowing her friends and I told her that the right people will find her and to be proud of matching because literally a couple of years ago she didn’t even think it was possible.
Honestly, I might make my first dates a walk in the park with coffee or even working at a coffee shop together, so it’s spending more quality time rather than filling every silence. The more I think about it, that’s my favorite type of hanging out. Just doing things together in silence. It feels less pressure.
The crazy thing is that right after I left, I called my best friend, and then even went to aldi with my mom. So it wasn’t that I was tired or couldn’t talk. If anything I was super chatty and wanted to talk to people. But I think with her, I was super aware of my surroundings, so I was just on guard and just couldn’t shut my brain down and relax.
After coming home from aldi with mom, we just chilled watched TV, I got my remaining steps in and at night we tried making banana bread. Lolol the recipe we were following was indian measurements, so lowkey was a fail. But it’s okay. Cute bonding experience.
8/10 - Busy day, needed to analyze the overstimulation
Intuition - I think I’m just better at labeling what I need now days.
Energy -
70% - Overstiumuation from my hangout
20% - Needed to refill my cup again with solitude
10 % - just vibes
