3/22 - Friendship seasons
Late last night, because of the edible it made me overthink again. Honestly, I don’t mind it anymore. It almost helps me purge whatever I’m hurt about.
That’s when it just hit me sure the thing I’m going through with my friend feels like a lot, but maybe that just means she’s not my person. It’s also a sign that N was never my person. Maybe it’s like a second tier.
Top tier - soulmates (mom, best friend, & my person)
Second tier - people you have connections with and make an impact in your life. But they aren’t your soulmates.
I think she’s second tier because anyone that doesn’t know my heart can’t be my person. It’s just that clear. Sure they can be important and almost like a karmic lesson, but they can’t be my person.
The thing going on with my best friend hurts but I don’t think it’s the end with her. I finally found the answer that makes me feel at peace, and that’s that sometimes people aren’t meant to be a part of your life for some seasons. She’s not meant to be a part of my life in the season where my dreams come true, where I take action, but she’s only going to hinder me, and I might hinder her.
That doesn’t get rid of our soul connection, and if things work out, we’ll be a part of each others lives again. Same with N, but again she’s not my soulmate.
This made me feel at peace that it’s okay that we’re not talking to each other. There doesn’t have to be a reason/result. Both of us just need space.
Anyways, today felt so much more calmer. I think I’m finally out of my lutueral phase. Almost like I can think clearly again and have not as emotional.
I have been pretty lazy for work but trying to stay positive. Part of me is really scared none of it is going to work out. We posted the first thing, and it literally barely got attention, which made me question maybe I need to post. Maybe it needs my energy. Am I just an imposter? What if I really can’t make things go viral?
But I think I’m putting too much pressure on this. Yes, it needs my energy but also marketing is a strategy. Even the best products don’t get visibility without marketing. And we put one thing out on an IG that’s shadow banned. This literally has no insights on the actual success of the feature, if anything I need to problem solve and pivot and keep going. Think even more outside the box. It will be successful, simply because I’m not giving up on it. I believe in it. And I think that’s what the problem became, I stop believing it would be successful. It needed my energy. God and the universe are on my side.
I also decided, I wanted to get some errands done to clear up the house, so got gas, ordered a cake, did some returns, etc. While I was out, also felt like going to the gym, so did that as well.
I think I’m just craving a new routine, so trying to spice it up any way I can atm.
Anways, watched a cute rom com at night, and got my steps in, so had some fun me time.
Also putting things into perspective. I have my mom. I’m safe and healthy. And I have a best friend to talk to. I’ll survive. I’m good. I have everything I need. I’m still happy.
8/10 - Feel way more in tune with myself and way calmer/at peace.
Intuition - Everything is working out in my favor. I know it’s hard to stay positive right now. But assumption theory that everything will always work out.
Energy:
50% - Spent trying to find an answer I would be at peace with/successful
30% - Trying not to not fall asleep and get things done
20% - Trying to chill and just be at peace
