4/10 - It’s time we stop asking for apologies

Today I woke up with the most random epiphany with friendships. Right now my friend group feels like it’s just gossip, jumping to conclusions, thinking the worst of people, not giving people the space to be who they are, and expecting apologies instead of just explanations.

And then I’m like as always everything around you is also somewhat a reflection of you, and that’s when I realized I do all this too.

I’ve known that you attract who you are for months now, so idk why this felt like new found information. But it’s time I change my behavior in my childhood friend group, so I finally answered the wedding girl and just said “thank you for explaining” because sure I was hurt but I also know she didn’t deliberately plan everything after she explained. I know she was somewhere telling the truth. And it’s time we stop asking people for apologies.

Because honestly i don’t want to apologize anymore. Somehow this kind of also heals something with my dad. I've asked for an apology so many times, and he refuses to apologize. I refuse to apologize too because the truth is that things are never one-sided. Even situations - sometimes all you need is an explanation.

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Besides that I’m also on a new mission to free up more time from my routine to do other things. Like I cut out the napping in the afternoon and just go straight to the gym now. This frees up more time for me at night. Also trying to move up my journal writing time too.

The goal is to add in time to make other content, like my substack posts or work on my Tiktok/IG. I need more time for personal branding WHILE i keep my current routine habits. I don’t want to have to drop important things.

Also I do think that my gut is somewhat improving I feel it too.

Anyways, after the gym - also went to jewel osco to get a bunch of protein items.

For work, I’m really trying to do this chat gpt trend but it’s been hard.

On the other note… lmfao another story about the girl at work. She basically lied saying she had an emergency for today on Monday when I was done with her and today she “excused” herself the whole day saying she was putting up flyer to take her day off. Like lmfaooo her lies are what are costing her. To think I was giving her chances. Her and I are far too different.

9/10 - Overall peaceful day and I think I’m making progress on the making more time in my routine

Intuition: I needed space to learn how to be a better friend again. I’m not sorry for anything I did that day, but I am sorry for other things like when I gossip and jump to conclusions.

Energy:
60% - In peace
10% - working out
40% - trying to do this chat gpt trend