10/21 - Moving past my “I hate men” era

I think I’m finally moving past my “I hate men” era and just all the TikTok advice. I think the north start should be again emotional regulation. This will continue to always prioritize how I’M feeling. Something, I honestly never did. I always cared about how the other person was feeling and catering to their needs. And just no type of games what’s so ever.

Making sure I have an upper hand - game

Making sure I’m getting some sort of benefit - game

Thinking about the long game - game

Trying to be in my feminine era - game

Trying to cater to their hero instinct - game

I literally think I just need to be myself, trust my intuition, and my person will find me. Just taking it day by day. And honestly, as simple as advice is, I feel like I was stuck listening to Tiktok advice on the right way to do something with all these theories when honestly, it’s really simple. Be yourself.

And not that I was never myself. But I did overthink as well. Like I was convinced that the guy should always love the girl more and hence I would try dating someone that was a little more chill and calm, so I can get my way. Or even if they weren’t opening up now, I would be like maybe if I preserve, they’ll open up later. Or if I liked something about them, I would subconsciously see it as a benefit for future me. Or I would listen to Tiktok advice and try to act according to that, like maybe I need to be more in my feminine energy and just let him do things.

But literally scratch all that. I’m going to be me, and if that doesn’t work next time, maybe I still have more character development to do that changes me and my person will find that version of me.

When the time is right, everything will work. And I no longer think I hate all men and that I need to have an upper hand.

The weather was also good today and my mom and I had the cutest autumn walk by the beach.

10/10 - I feel very thankful for the peace.