11/2 - A fresh start

Today was Gujarati new years! So we woke up early, went to the temple, and just took it easy today. In the afternoon, I couldn’t help but take a nap. Literally was fighting to stay away but throughout the day, I did manage to get 15k steps in. Had to lol the amount of indian sweets I consumed today was like more than what I’ve ate in a whole month. We did also go to another temple in the evening.

During the first temple, I was praying to god to give me strength to work towards my purpose. I’ve been really wanting to do a “how to heal series” for Dil Mil, but didn’t know where to start when it just hit me while I was praying that literally I’ve been documenting my whole healing here. I just need to go back and read the entries to create themes/steps. Feels like a solid step 1.

I overall also just wanted to carry the energy of new beginnings today. While getting ready to go to the second mandir, my mom and I got into a fight. Which idk how I feel about. It felt like a day where we shouldn’t fight but I felt like I needed to teach her to have her year start out strong.

She’s been making these side comments every time she’s on the phone with people, so I screamed at her about it. I’m like your tone makes it seem like you’re judging them. You’re hurting their feelings, and for her she’s like it wasn’t her intention. I’m like I don’t care if it wasn’t her intention. She needs to learn. Hurting people’s feelings by being judgy is bad karma. Like why? It just feels so unnecessary to rack up bad karma for stupid reasons. Honestly, growing up I realized she wasn’t that emotionally intelligent. Like I had saying this but it made me super aware because again I had to protect her my whole life. And again I feel bad for yelling at her today, but she needs to change. And no one is going to yell at her but me. Sometimes teaching parents is literally the hardest thing ever.

Overall, Diwali felt a bit different this year than my old house. Idk I mean I don’t hate it but it was just a bit different.

9/10 - Overall it was a good new year!