2/25 - Judging a book by its cover
Today I woke still super confused on what I should do about this guy situation. Part of me is like I’m literally wasting my time because I know the person I want, and according to his birth chart he’s just not it. And then other side of me is like the highest version of myself would give everyone a fair chance because I don’t want someone to judge me by my cover, and I’m doing the same. I don’t want that energy coming back to me, I feel like it’s bad karma, so I should at least give it a fair shot and move the way I would like to move as married person and if I start to feel like something is off, I believe in myself to have the guts to say no and recognize it. And then the other part of me is clearly I’m still thinking about N, so is it even right to go into a relationship knowing that I”m still thinking about him? Feels wrong and I don’t want someone to enter anything with me knowing they still have a bit of feelings for their ex. But then the other part of me is like do I really have feelings? Literally it’s been two years… and it just happens to be that the person I can invision myself with it most similar to the qualities he carries but it doesn’t have to be him. I’d be stupid to just sit and wait and it’s not realistic. But I also want soul mate love, so I need to act like that too. And then also every time I’ve ignored my intuition it’s bit me in the ass.
Soo…. i literally don’t know what to do. And I don’t know what Karma is going to bite more.
Anyways, today was hair day so did that and then had a bunch of meetings. After the meetings, I got ready and mom and I went to the mandir today. We were there for the most part of the day, except that one hour I went away to go for my invisalign appointment. I almost got a $1K discount just for asking one and lolol I’m getting really good at not falling under sales pressure, so shoutout to all that.
After my appointment, the mandir was supper busy so was bit overstimulated. But happy to be in bed now.
8/10 - A little overstimulated but busy day
Intuition - Idk.. I’m just leaving it to God. Hopefully, it’s not another learning lesson if this goes through or I have the guts to say no. Maybe it’s my test to see if I have the guts to stand up for myself now.
