3/8 - Photoshoot day
Today was shoot day. Randomly a couple of days ago I asked my friend if she could come over and take pictures, just for fun. Felt like I wanted to post some pictures on IG and just feel myself. Also I figured if I want to be a public figure, public figures take pictures. I need to just step into that energy as if I’m already famous and this is just maintenance work to create content for my socials.
lol I literally ordered everything for it too. A backdrop, outfits, studio light, dress, new heels. It was a whole photoshoot day. Also did my hair last night, still needed to do my eyebrows.
When I first tried the outfits I ordered off of amazon, I wasn’t loving them, so decided I was going to go to the mall in the morning too, but I woke up too late and honestly just trusted that something would work out.
While coming home from doing my eyebrows, I realized that everything again feels aligned. All my life I knew I was meant to do something bigger with my life but I just couldn’t put a finger to walk it was, and everything else just didn’t feel aligned. But now I know its literally my daily lessons, healing, and manifesting. And I couldn’t have figured it out earlier because literally I just went through it in the last 6 months. So no matter how much I wanted it to come earlier, it just couldn’t have. So this is your sign that if you feel like you’re meant to do something more with your life but just don’t know what.. the answer is to just wait. The time isn’t right. And don’t force yourself because what’s meant for you will never miss you.
After doing my makeup, my friend came over, and somehow one of the outfits just magically worked out. And it looked great, exactly how I envisioned it to look. The outfit did workout at the end of the day.
After setting up the background and lights, we started taking pictures and idk what came over me but my confidence was on a whole other level. Like I’ve been doing my maintenance pictures every week or something. Ngl we did really struggle with the lighting. Lol we were using my camera but none of us really know how to use it, so we were just winging it for the most part. I feel like I got a couple of good shots, but honestly I feel less scared to just book a studio session. Like now I have confidence that I won’t completely suck because this level of confidence definitely wasn’t there 6 months ago. The pictures from my brand photoshoot that I did last end of June are so awkward. Not these - literally it’s like looking at a whole new person. So I might just pull the trigger and book a personal photoshoot sometime soon.
And more-so. I liked it. I liked being in front of the camera. I didn’t feel out of place or scared, which made it feel even more aligned.
The rest of the time we kept playing around with the light, and then we ordered Mexican food to break her fast. After breaking her fast, we did an outfit change and just ended up taking pictures with her iPhone because the whole camera lighting situation just wasn’t working out. It was freezing but also you gotta do what you gotta do for the content.
After she left, I was pretty much super exhausted. Didn’t even clean up and just tried going to bed.
I’m obsessed with some of the pictures we even took on her phone. Still need to go through the all the camera ones.
I will say that when I was taking pictures part of me was slightly not at ease because I was like am I being delusional. Like who do I think I am doing a whole photoshoot in my house to practice being a public figure. It just feels very self-absorbing, especially in a place like Chicago where this doesn’t happen. Even telling my friend was a little weird. I’m sure this is normal in LA but it’s a little uhm embarrassing in Chicago. A little extra.
lol on the side note - I’ve also been reading my mom’s birth chart and it kind of explains why she had such a terrible health year last year. It says she MIGHT have some health issues this year too if she doesn’t fix her routine and that got me slightly worried. But overall still going to stay positive and just make sure she’s also focusing on her lifestyle. On the other note, it says that her calling it be a leader within communities, so I told her to take more charge in the mandir. It makes sense on why she needs to be in communities to be happy.
9/10 - I literally shook myself with the new level of confidence.
Intuition - Who cares if I feel extra? Literally who cares if I’m delusional. I need to get over the embarrassment and just embrace the audacity at this point.
