3/13 - the skills you need will come to you
Still sick today and honestly felt like I was having a slightly negative day where I just felt like I didn’t believe in myself as much.
I had to genuinely pull myself out of it by saying look I’ve done this before, where I think I’m being delusional and have it all wrong and it all leads me back to the same wants. I’ve wanted the same stuff I want now that I’ve wanted 15 years ago. So it’s never going to change and what’s going to happen when I’m 85? Just feel like all I did was live in the insecurity all my life that I couldn’t do it. But what if I did? What if at 85 I felt joy from knowing I made my dreams come true instead of just wondering if I could have?
Like now, I’m honestly doing things that I never thought I could even do and I’m convinced that god just gives you the strength and skills when it’s your time to take it on. Example, 5 years ago I would have never thought I’m handling the whole marketing for a family, I literally didn’t even trust myself to handle an IG page. I got the strength and skills when it just came on me. And it almost came to me when I needed it. Same with that, sure right now I feel like I don’t have the skills or courage to make some of the things on my dream list come true but I’m convinced it’ll just come to me. Same with moms, it’s not like they’re born how to be a mom. They become a mom and all the skills just come to them.
So I need to stop lowering my confidence looking at my current self because my future self does have the skills. Again, half my skills right now just came to me without even really thinking and to think that I doubted myself is crazy to me.
Same way, I need to stop feeling like I’m not good enough for my dreams. If they’ve been my dreams for years, that has to me that they’re aligned with me. They’re in my destiny. They’re mine.
Again, even today I had a call with a major production company. 5 years ago I would have been shitting bricks. Today I took the call so casually. And the only skill it took was confidence.
Today’s also Holi so mom and I fasted, but my congestion is still up there so tried resting as much as possible. Also had a couple work calls in the morning.
6/10 - I bit of a low confidence day but I think I redeemed myself with my reflection
Intuition - I have everything within me already to be successful.
