3/16 - A slow day

As expected, I’m completely fine today like I was never sick, which again makes me more convinced the universe didn’t want me to run into someone yesterday.

But I got my mom sick sadly, so today was dedicated to really just having a slow day and spending time with her.

Honestly, we woke up super late. My new bedtime is at 3am and waking up at 11am, which I absolutely hate especially since I feel like I need to be in bed by 12am, so 12-3am is just tossing/turning overthinking or being on my phone. Super unproductive to say the least and needs to be fixed asap.

Idk if I want to start reading at night or how I can force myself to switch my schedule. About to chat gpt this.

I also just overall feel completely off my other routine too. Haven’t gotten my steps in since Monday, so a whole week. Haven’t gua sha in so long. My diet has also been a little off and have been craving more carbs than usual. Have also been back to taking naps the past couple of days, which I got over for a while.

Overall need to fix all that tomorrow and get back to everything, rest period is over and actual period is over too.

Mom and watched a lot of TV and ate my thai curry today, and tbh it was really good, something still feels a little missing but overall it was good.
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I’ve also had these sudden urges to purge out N out of my life because I’m not waiting for anyone to choose me. I choose myself. And literally staying in the hopes that he’ll realize his mistake one day is messed up. I just don’t care to forgive him that his own issues. Part of me feels like I was still “stuck” on him to avoid the possibility and fear that I could end up alone because being stuck on him kept me focused on okay one day I’ll be reunited with him. But getting over him is like having no vision of the person I’m going to end up with, and the unknown feels scary. LIke I that point, I would rather just make up a fictional person and manifest him. At the same time this is risky too because I don’t want to over idealize anyone, at least with N I’m accepting him with his mistakes, but I also feel like I’m settling with him now, which might be another sign to move on.

I also worked a bit today, which I was dreading because part of me again is like ugh… I really don’t want to train this new coworker. It just feels like more work.

9/10 - Feel thankful to be taking things slow

Intuition - Idk.. I’m confused but at least I just have love life problems and everything else in my life is going well.