3/19 - Dreams are keeping me awake & making IG public

Back with the whole sleeping issues. Literally last night I was so determined, that I took my contacts off and forced myself to go to bed at 10pm. It worked…. only issue is that I woke up at 12am, and then couldn’t go back to sleep until my regular 4am, and then again couldn’t wake up until 10am.

But honestly the reason why I can’t sleep isn’t even necessarily bad. Yeah, sometimes I overthink and my cortisol levels are definitely high, but most of the time I think about my dreams and visualize, or even come up with ideas/get clarity on what I need to do. There are moments where I feel/visualize so deeply that I have tears coming out of my eyes and it just feels so so real like that moment is right in front of my eyes. It almost feels like my future self is showing me glipse, and more importantly when I’m visualizing it feels mine. It feels meant to be, and it feels like I moment of gratitude that I’m so proud of myself for believing in myself and keeping going.

Last night, I thought of what my book title would be, and saw my book launch billboard in Times Square.

Anyways, after again sleeping in today, initially I was going to post my photoshoot pictures at 7am, and make my IG public around then too but for some reason the pictures just ended up being super low quality when I posted them on my preview page and just wasn’t a fan. But at the same time, I didn’t want the anticipation to go to waste, so I still made my IG public today!

And as simple as this sounds, literally it took everything out of me to make my account public. For so long now, I just wanted to stay hidden that really exposing myself as step 1 was huge for me.

I just know I’m not going back on my dreams. There’s no way, and this had to be done.

For lunch, I was really craving these tacos that I used to get in college, so I went to get those and a quesadilla. For some reason, it didn’t hit the same. In college, I remember them tasting so good that I would literally take everyone I knew there but today they tasted pretty mid. Tbh i’ve been feeling that about a lot of food lately. I don’t think I’ve ate anything recently where I’m like this is the best food I’ve ever had. I can’t tell if my taste buds are changing or if I just don’t care about food like that anymore.

Also had a call with a creator that went to the same middle school as me. She’s not doing the collab I need her to do but I guess it was good connecting with another creative who literally lives by me. Again feel like I’m attracting my tribe of people. At one point I would desperately try finding these people to hang out with, and now the invitations are coming to me. My laser technician, her, etc… which again the universe gives you the right people at the right time. And you attract who you are.

The rest of the day was spent working. I was able to get things done without feeling anxious today, which honestly I’ve been struggling with a lot lately, so it was still a win for me.

I also kind of flirted with the idea that I think the day I’m quitting is July 10. Hopefully, this gives me enough time to mentally prepare and lock in. And praying for the universe to just have my back.

Also got my 10k steps in and honestly it’s not for the weak after taking a whole week's break. My legs hurt so much, but I knew I needed to after eat sooo much today.

Next step is to get into my gua sha routine again and figure out how to fix my stomach issues.

I also turn 27 in exactly 2 months, so excited about that! 26 was very important to me. It was the year I truly transformed and stepped into who I’m meant to be.

8/10 - Very productive day overall with no naps

Intuition - I just need to keep visualizing and I just know I will achieve my dreams.