9/24 - Calling + Reminder
I started this blog as a way to express myself, and honestly I’m so proud of myself for making it habit and being consistent.
Two signs + letting go:
I was watching Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu and it’s honestly disgusting to see how men try to control women. Literally all the women on the show who were happy were detached, unbothered, and knew their value. Any women I’ve ever seen be happy is literally this. So THIS is the secret to true feminine energy. Knowing you hold the power. And it also confirmed that I never want to be in a relationship where I’m giving more than getting. Men will never value a giver.
I finally told my 1 girl friend and a guy friend today. Just need to tell 1 more friend about the breakup and then everyone will know. I think I hid it from some people because deep down I believed I would get back with J and just didn’t want to explain myself. But I’m finally happy I did it. It was time to tell them. I’m also happy for not running to my guy friend as soon as that happened. I feel proud that during the breakup and even after, I didn’t need any male validation, help or anything. I got time to see the situation for what I believed it to be and really sit with it.
While talking to that guy friend he told me he was going to tell a girl that really liked him that he just doesn’t have feelings for her. And honestly, I felt for that girl but it also felt like a calling for me to tell him things she needs to know and just realize that soo many girls out their still need to learn this. I’ve learned what they know. I have a way to mass spread the message. I just need to figure out the how. And somewhere deep down it was a reminder for me too, especially when a little part of me was like will someone ever choose me? But after talking to P today. Nothing was wrong with her. If anything she was perfect. But she still need her own becoming. .
When I wanted to tell the girl:
I’m not your person because you genuinely need to be your own person first.
I already know you’re super strong and literally have the most kindest hard. And I know you have boundaries and won’t let anyone walk all over you.
you deserve to be with someone that’s genuinely your person
you’re not waiting to be chosen, you’re doing the choosing
you’ll be okay with or without someone in your life
you care about what they’re providing for you rather than how you’re accommodating them
you’re so unbothered to the outcome where your aura is super calm
you know that anyone you allow yourself get close to is lucky to have YOU in their life
none of your insecurities make you less than anyone
No, there is nothing you could have done differently to change the outcome. And it’s not your fault
Overall, just everything from today feels like a good reminder that there was NOTHING I could have down differently. I literally just needed my becoming.
I also feel like I’ve found my temporary purpose. Just need to make all my dreams come true now.
8/10
