10/1 - Facing fears

I woke up having anxiety about going to New York and just facing all of it, but today I decided to man up and take things in my hand. So I messaged the organizer and told her I wanted to be hands on deck, messaged content creators so I had people to work with and just make it a complete work event for myself where I wouldn’t be alone or come face to face against J.

My fears about going to New York:

• Being alone and uncomfortable

  • This is what’s going to help me grow. I want to network, I want people to know who I am. I want abundance and opportunities, and for that I just need to do what I know I have to do.

• Seeing J

  • I’ve actually never see anyone I’ve ended things with my whole life. The opposite of invisible string theory. So literally I’m not going to see him.

  • Even if I do see him, it’s okay. I think I’m scared about freaking out and making myself look stupid. But no, all I got to say is “Hey. I have to go, I’m running late with the most confidence I’ve had.” and just leave. I need to remind myself I hate this man the minute I see him.

Career-wise - All my life, I’ve been the brains behind everything but I’ve always been scared to put myself out there because what will people think? Who cares. I put my soul into my work and that’s all that matters. I need to let people know this is my work. I’m the girl that did this and I KNOW I will attract abundance and opportunities.

People won’t think of me as magnetic or impressive until I think of myself as impressive. If I don’t hype up my own work, no one will. I already do it at work, so time to do it in the real work and the only validation I need is myself.

I know I can do anything. I am blessed. I am so lucky. I deserve everything good that comes to me. I deserve abundance. I deserve money. I am so blessed with a smart brain. I am the IT girl. I am everyone’s dream.

9/10 - Filled with anxiety but I’m facing my fears.