10/16 - Reconnecting with my inner child
To start, definitely think I was addicted to coffee. Had a huge headache all day today. Might be from the withdrawals, so honestly spent most of the day just trying to get rid of the headache with a nap, electrolytes and more. I got my car serviced yesterday, and had to go back again to get a tension rod, screw in of my tires fixed. I might need to go back again next week to get a couple of my car filters replaced. A bunch of stuff fixed in my car, my dentist appointments, and Amazon furniture returns have been on a back burner for a while and I finally think I’m tackling them of at a time.
Next week, we’ll dedicate to the dentist + amazon returns. Would like the house to get cleared before Diwali to bring in a clean energy.
That being said, today was the brightest day for the moon and huge day for manifestations. Honestly, Idk how I feel about manifestations right now. As much as they allow me to dream big and really go after things, I feel like they also bring so much expectations, hope, and skew my way of looking at things. I feel like I internally know what I want, but don’t want to think too much about it, so today just read through that a bit again and tried increasing just my hope and vibrations. I tried not to be too negative and just come from a place of gratitude.
I’ve been thinking about this for the past couple of days but one of the things that I always feel iffy telling people about is that I live on Devon. Because instantly, it’s like people look down on me. But honestly, that was one of my favorite things growing up. Just living in a diverse neighborhood, super vibrant, convenient, close to the city/burbs, and it always kept me connected to my culture. And now we live in my dream apartment too, so it’s not even the house that’s the problem. If anything it’s so much more spacious than any apartment I’ve seen in downtown for the price range. More than anything it’s super convenient for my mom to be independent and happy. Sure, we can move to the suburbs, but us two alone, I just know she’s going to be miserable and I can’t drive her around everywhere. She’s grown up in a city life 63 years of her life and she’s a social butterfly, so she can’t sit at home.
Anyways, when I was little I always thought older me would know the answer, but in fact, it’s younger me that knows the answer about how I really feel about things. The me right now has too many voices of what people think/say. I only grew to hate living on Devon because of the connotation behind it, not because I actually hate it. In fact, I actually still love it. I feel like anytime I’m stuck or the voices are just getting too loud, I need to just ask younger me the question and she’ll always know the answer because she doesn’t care about people’s opinions.
