11/21 - Answers

So idk how but I literally feel like I got Tiktok answers for everything I was feeling yesterday.

1. “Is this the future you talking or the past you talking”

Yesterday, I was almost feeling a little disappointed on maybe it’s not going to work out for me. Like everything about the universe is almost bullshit. BUT then after I saw that TikTok, I did realize it was the past me talking. The past me that felt like it was in my destiny. The future me KNOWS it’s in my destiny. Like without a doubt I know all the things I dream of are going to happen for me sooner or later. Yesterday, the fear I was feeling was more so coming from current self leaning too much into my past self, instead of leaning towards my future self.

2. “If you keep asking the whys, it’s because you can’t accept the what is”

This is true.. I keep asking whys for everything because it almost feels like it shouldn’t be a part of my story. I’m unable to accept it as a part of my story. It’s almost like once you accept a situation for what it is, you treat it like a problem that needs a solution and remove the emotions from it. The why are the emotions.

Things to ask myself moving forward… who is talking? past or future? What’s the current situation? If it was a problem, what would the solution be?

On the other note, today was the first snow day in Chicago and it was a lot. I almost forgot how bad it actually gets. I feel like I haven’t experienced that in a while since I was always in SF during the winter. And even if I did it would be for like a day or two. Starting to spend more time walking at home now that it’s a little hard to walk outside. Also, I feel like if I had a dog it’d be miserable indoors.

But I did have a fun push notification go out today, so was pumped about that. And I have been feeling a bit more confident lately.

8/10 - Feeling a bit balanced again

I think I also want to start a new segment on my daily journals for.. what does my intuition say.

Intuition - I deserve everything that’s going to come to me easily. It hasn’t came to me yet because I actually felt like I didn’t deserve it. Now I do. I also did the chat gpt prompt on what my dream like would feel like.. and honestly I’m living it currently. Sure I still have some things that are going to happen, but actual feeling and show up as it is currently what I do and feel, which makes me feel like it’s coming to me faster than I think. Confidence is there, I feel it. I genuinely feel unstoppable.