11/25 - Showing up as future me

I’m doubling down on my intuition from yesterday.

If I look at it from a problem and solution standpoint, it only makes sense. I have my reasons why I feel like I should cut them off, sure it’s not a huge problem but I need to go all in as showing up as my future self almost if she’s a character. I can’t have parts of me that are stuck in past me. That’s what’s hindering my growth.

No one tells you this but the hardest part of changing who you are and “growing” out of your old self is the confusion you face. Like it almost feels out of character for you and you don’t know what’s right, what’s wrong. You almost start to question who you even are because you’re trying to break free from old you but also acting like future you is foreign for future you.

That’s what I’m going through right now.

One part of me is like I’ll find a way to avoid the problems in this friendship, keep conversational minimal and just chill with them once in a while.

But then I’m like okay would future me do this? No. Time is energy and if I can’t be my happiest authentic self, there’s no point in wasting time and energy in that.

The Indian in me is like i don’t want to just cut friendships off. The American me is like you let go of everywhere that doesn’t serve you.

The growth in me is like if I completely show up as my future self I’ll let go of whatever is not serving me to make room for a whole new community of people that are serving me. I’ll attract it.

I can’t attract it right now because I’m still letting past people that hurt me still be a part of my life.

And honestly this is hard. Like i’ve actually never just cut people off. Especially friends that are the ones making effort. One of them also has all her wedding stuff coming up. Should I still go to that? Should I cut them off after that? But then I’m like why prolong it? Should I start with mentally cutting them off? Which honestly I kind of did…. like if they stop putting in effort. I wouldn’t care and let it die off. I wouldn’t put effort to resolve anything.

Not really sure how to go about this.

8/10 - Just worked

Intuition - Just start showing up as future me like she’s a character and she’ll know what to do.