12/10 - I see & feel the confidence

Waking up I did feel like I was carrying over my anxiety from yesterday, but then realized that two days ago, I was doing my absolute best to not fall in love with SF yesterday that I started looking at the negatives, giving myself the anxiety.

I need to calm down a bit regarding the SF topic and just enjoy it for what it is. If I’m meant to come back to SF, it’ll happen on its own. Also I wouldn’t be living at my friend’s place, so I really wouldn’t be in the same place/situation doing the same things. If I’m meant to stay in Chicago, my heart will pull me back there. Which is really is - I miss Chicago already. But in the desperate want to not feel guilty, I shouldn’t be bashing SF and giving myself anxiety.

I need to appreciate my time in SF for what it is, instead of stressing about it long-term.

Besides that, my confidence has been 15x the past couple of days. Where even if someone says something to me, I respond back without hesitating, direct eye contact, and full on confidence. I think this has to do with increasing my self-worth internally. I know I got whatever comes my way, and I feel more and more confident that good things are coming by way because I set the bar for what I’m worth.

I feel like the mentality shit was long time coming and months up building up to and now I see all the results from my healing all at once. The crazy thing is that everyone in SF keeps saying my aura is different too. My friends, my coworkers, etc and although I shouldn’t need external validation, it is increasing my self confidence knowing that other people see it too. BUT I do need to keep pulling through without taking what other people say much into consideration.

10/10 - I see/feel the changes of my healing

Intuition - If I keep it up, it’s only going to get better from here.