12/12 - the need for attention
I would say today was a chill day overall. Half my team was out sick, so there were only a couple of people in the office and half the day was spent in meetings.
Within my meetings and just growth overall at work, I’ve learned the ins and outs and am now able to get really technical with strategy too. Adds more credibility to my work than just being a creative person.
Also showed my coworker a couple of things, so he was impressed at how fast I was.
For lunch, I convinced everyone to get Gott’s and it definitely hit the spot.
Earlier today, I was growing a bit angry at the new person I hired. I just felt like she was coasting and wasn’t even taking advantage of the opportunity we gave her. Almost like she didn’t care. And I was almost getting to a point where I didn’t like her.
On our way back, I realized I definitely liked attention. And wasn’t competing for attention with anyone.
So do I not like the new girl cause she takes away attention from me? Or because she’s bad at her job?
This got me thinking - where does my need for attention come from? I was almost an only child so it’s not like I had to fight for attention.
Anyways, on the other note, confidence is definitely increasing. And I just love the way I talk. It feels like again it just happened overnight but my journals are proof that it was a day by day transformation.
I also posted some of my work on IG again today and just felt so good about it. Manifesting I get a bunch of people to reach out to me.
Since everyone was sick, we canceled paint and sip night. And on my way home I was just dancing and singing. Kind of like the Bollywood movies. Even debated having a mocktail at a bar I’ve been wanting to go to but they were closed for a private event.
Got home and finished breaking bad today! Overall, it was great.
I have TikTok crush lol. And I think I’m finally not afraid of being with someone that’s bold. Until now, I thought I needed someone innocent, but clearly that fucked me over. And with this new confidence, I feel like I can be with someone else that’s bold. Something I felt like I couldn’t do just 2-3 months ago. Something again, transformation there.
On the other note, I told the universe it has only until I’m in SF to reconnect me with N if needed and if it doesn’t happen I will officially move on.
I keep seeing the number 11:10 for the past couple of months and it’s a sign that I’m a powerful manifestor.
8/10 - chill day with a lot of work and just random updates
Intuition - I don’t think I actually want to be reconnected with N. I don’t think I can ever forgive him. My inner sole is begging for it to not happen. Meanwhile, the Bollywood girly in me just wants it for the plot. I know he’s not my person, and I know I deserve better. My character has been in development for my person and I’m closer than ever.
