12/14 - Santa Con

It’sss hereeee. I’ve been waiting for this day for a hot minute now.

My friend’s twin sister broke up with her version of J yesterday, so it’s been a rough night for her. She couldn’t sleep, so while talking we all woke up sleep deprived. She didn’t want to come out to Santa Con but I convinced her that she wasn’t going to run into her ex no matter what because his time in her life was over. And when people’s time in your life is over, you don’t run into them even if they’re 5ft away from you.

Honestly, I feel like this is something I needed to hear myself. Today’s the day I told the universe as N’s last chance to show up back in my life.

I got ready and convinced her to get ready too. My Santa outfit was bomb. Literally loved my look and was feeling myself.

She had some other friends come over for her pregame. Honestly, wasn’t a big fan of them. Everyone else pregamed while I took an edible to see what would happen.

We hit up the first bar were the edible hit and honestly it was literally the best time of my life. The music was musicing. I didn’t feel sick to my stomach from the alcohol. And it was just sooo much fun, better than any club night I’ve ever had tbh. At one point, we even went on stage and acted like we were giving a performance.

I was at the spot I usually went with N and at that point I was trying to use everything in my power to make it happen. Everything I’ve learned about manifesting. At one point, I even pretended it already happened.

But I didn’t run into N. And that’s when it find of felt a bit heartbreaking because that’s when I realized that it was time to say goodbye to him. And if the universe wanted us to meet again, today would have been the day. For a quick second I really did feel sick to my stomach but then just ignored it by dancing. Part of me still had a little hope that I could run into him since the day wasn’t over. But 90% of me realized that this was it. I was never going to see him again because like I told my friend earlier in the day. His time in my life was over a year and half ago.

The crazy thing is my friend saw her ex, while she has a boyfriend (not the friend’s twin). So there was a point where I literally pulled everyone at the bar because she was so scared that both her fling and her boyfriend would be in front of each other. To be honest we were all panicking.

We ended up going to 2 other clubs after too. My friend’s twin the one that broke up with her J did not in fact run into her ex. And I never ran into N either. And we literally went to all the spots that they would go to otherwise on SF’s biggest day of the year. Santa Con.

For the twin - she ended up taking what I said seriously and just realizing it was done. For my friend, she was shook and realized that he kept coming in her life every time she decided to settle with her boyfriend. She doesn’t really like her boyfriend, but she’s too scared to leave him. Her boyfriend reminds me of V, where I just couldn’t give him the love he needed and was super happy to see him engaged because he found someone that could. That’s what I keep telling my friend too that you’re actually doing him a favor even though it seems devastating right now. And she keeps running into that one guy because it reminds her that there is someone she is excited about and doesn’t have to be miserable in her relationship.

Anyways, at the end of the night, I desperately wanted to get the butter cake from Joe’s, so I left the group to literally get taco’s and butter cake lolol. Lmfao I love how i didn’t care who came with me and just wanted my food.

They ended up leaving the club soon after too, and so we all just came home. My friend and I literally passed out after eating cake cause we were so tired.

On the other note, I convinced my friend’s twin to swear a ring on her ring finger too. lol maybe I’m starting a movement with this.


10/10 - Was hectic but sooo soo fun. Literally was the perfect day out.

Intuition - I still have 1 more day to see N but I know I’m not going to because I’m meant to level up in my life not go back to the past. Also I’m no longer in the same frequency as him.