1/14 - Battle between using my heart or not caring

I have this girl at work that I know is slacking. Old me is like I just want to have a real talk with her and be like yo what is going on? And really try working with her to find the cause because I believe she can do the work but something is wrong with the motivation aspect.

New me is like honestly I don’t care. I’m going to give her hard KPIs that force her to get that motivation, and if she doesn’t that’s on her. She’s responsible. Not me.

But ugh, this just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m not like this. I believe in at least working with them a couple of times to figure out what’s wrong, which I feel like I already have. And I don’t see her trying at all.

I don’t care about changing anyone anymore. I need to learn to accept them how they are, even when I see potential in them. Let them do their own thing and not get invested in it. If they come to me that’s different. But clearly, she’s just trying to coast.

Maybe this is a test for me to see if I still go after people I can change or just know I deserve better and go my way. Like she means nothing to me. There’s no need for me to invest my energy in her.

What would a higher version of me do? Tbh let her be. Give her hard KPIs to see what she does, and have a heart to heart with her if she comes to me. There’s no need for me to prove myself to anyone.

On the other note, I went to my doctor’s appointment today. Got a blood test, and then mom and I went to the mandir, my masi’s house, and the my mom’s friend’s house to drop stuff off. It’s been a long day.

But I will say when I went to the mandir today, I was almost super positive. Like my trust level was at 1000%. I went in confident that god is on my side, and idk today felt special. It’s like I felt god again similar to me getting strength when my mom was sick. I truly felt like god was on my side.

The past two days have been busy and I’ve just been super off my routine. I need to get back on it tomorrow. Gave myself a 2-day mental break.

10/10 - I felt a lot of hope today, and just a lot of positivity.

Intuition - God saw my worries and is on my side to tell me that everything will be okay.