2/2 - Ready to date again?!

I was so excited to journal today. As soon as I woke up, I had so many thoughts rushing through my head. First I woke up checking to see if any new guys swiped up on my IG stories, literally seeking validation. And at first I was like wait what this is so bad… why do I need validation from guys, do I not love myself anymore?

But then I’m like okay if I was hot, rich, successful, and confident what would I be doing and the answer was actually dating. Because I know I’m a catch, so i’d be confident in just flirting. Also, I’ve been watching a lot of Sex in the City and I just love the way she moves and is so confident.

Also after posting on IG again and coming back from my break, I just loved seeing everyone’s content and had a certain urge to create! and post! and have people engage!

All this thinking got me exhausted, so I took a nap and literally just woke up being like okay! I feel ready to date again. I feel ready to just have fun and have a roaster.

I literally feel me moving out of being “stuck” and I saw 11:11 again yesterday! Which again means good things are coming. That fact that I feel so excited to create again, get back on my goals, and just date.

To clarify, I don’t want to be in a relationship. I just want to date, and like I mentioned yesterday I’m actually excited to be single.

I no longer think I’m healing, I feel ready to have fun.

But a couple of questions, when it comes to moving like the thing you want, I actually want to move like I’m single. I don’t want to move like I’m in a loving relationship. Is that bad? because I would move differently with both.

Honestly I don’t care though, lol. My heart is strongly leaning towards moving like I’m hot, rich, successful and single. Rather than hot, rich, successful, and in a loving relationship.

Maybe I am supposed to be single and then when i’m actually thinking about being in a relationship, I should act like I’m in a loving relationship to see if it serves me.

And as crazy as this sounds. I don’t want any sort of commitment right now. I am literally not looking for a relationship. But is that not aligning with my highest self? Or is that?

I think it is… my highest self PICKS her person. I don’t want to go and be a hoe. No, I just want to flirt and talk to people but with my boundaries. I need to test all my healing and see if I can put it into practice now. Plus, if I don’t date it’s coming from fear of what people would think of me or getting hurt. This literally feels like what a fearless version of me would do.

I even chat gpt it, like why do I feel suddenly ready to date when just 2 days ago I was freaking out about not wanting to find someone during world war 3. But then I decided I was going to ignore the outside noise, and just do my own thing.

I just got to watch out for this validation thing I’m feeling, it feels a bit slippery. I might need to have no social sundays to reset or something. Just like my tuesday fasts. Maybe that’s the key to always have a detox day for everything.

Food, social media, relationships, family. A day to just be alone with yourself to figure out your true feelings.

Anyways, now that I’m ready to date… i might download dating apps again. LOL after literally saying I wasn’t going to two days ago or Idk if I should sit on this feeling a bit.

Overall, I do feel an insane amount of confidence.

The rest of the day was fought trying to break out of my current slump of my current life. I need to force myself to really show up as my goals and stop making excuses.

7/10 - Love the realization, but still need to force myself to get out my slump

Intuition - This is the time to force myself. Only I can get myself out of being stagnant.