2/11 - Ageing

My friend’s grandpa ended up passing away this morning. And I don’t think it’s hit me yet. He’s been sick a couple of times, and I know the doctors said no, but he’s actually gone. And he’ll never come back.

Besides that, I’ve been way more alert today. Even though I took a day off, I was still answering slack messages. Need to get back to working on my etsy business too. And just on top of things, the pain from my surgery and everything is also starting to go away. Still on liquids.

Later in the day, I ended up taking everyone to my friends house. She was having sporadic moments of crying. I think she would forget but then suddenly remember and crash out. I can only imagine how hard this has been on her family.

Besides all this, idk if it’s just that my face is swollen but I’m beginning to age. And I thought people looked better in their 30’s but I can literally start seeing my gray hair, my forehead wrinkles, hair loss, and my pores. It’s kind of starting to scare me and I suddenly have this urge to do all the anti-aging stuff in the world. Lately, I’ve even been thinking about botox. I don’t want to look wrinkly. I’m actually starting to feel old. And I don’t think people understand how aging feels to women. It feels like our time is running out.

6/10 - It felt like a dark day but happy I’m recovering

Intuition - I need to reduce stress in my life, literally my body is starting to catch with it.