Step 10 - Put yourself first and create a routine

No one is going to come save you—you need to put in the work to become the person you want to attract. This means putting yourself first, which is absolutely crucial. When you prioritize yourself in a healthy way, you naturally come across as attractive and secure. You're no longer waiting anxiously for someone's call or putting your dreams on hold only to resent yourself later. Instead, you're focused on self-improvement.

How does this show up in dating?

When you're dating someone, being too available often leads them to take you for granted and value your time less. While people commonly say "don't be too available"—leading to games like playing hard to get or deliberately delayed texting—these are just tactics that others can easily spot. The real goal is different: become so genuinely focused on your own growth that you're naturally less available. When you're magnetic and pursuing your passions, you won't be anxiously waiting for texts. By putting yourself and your dreams first, you avoid building resentment. You're simply becoming your best self, unconcerned about who chooses to stay in your life.

How to work on this?

Now that you know what kind of person you want to attract, become that person. Envision yourself as already being that person. What would their daily routine look like? Create a list of goals that lead to your best life and stick to that routine consistently. For example, if you want to be an influencer, act like one by disciplining yourself to create TikToks daily. If you want to run a marathon, commit to running every day. Maintain this routine regardless of who enters your life. Soon, you'll see the results of your discipline and feel proud of yourself. Remember: when you truly value your time, others will too.