Step 9 - Work towards becoming the person you want to attract

You attract who you are. Now that you understand this principle, to attract the person of your dreams, you must first become that person yourself.

How does this show up in dating?

Even if you manage to attract your dream person while you're still unhealed, they'll likely leave—especially if they're healed, secure, and know their worth. When both partners are equally healed, you won't feel like you're holding onto someone who's "too good" for you. This might show up in simple ways: perhaps they've truly healed from their past relationships, while you still keep photos of your exes. If you're trying to manifest a healthy relationship, why would someone who's done their healing work stay with someone who hasn't? They deserve a partner who has also worked on themselves.

How to work on this?

Start by listing all the characteristics your dream person would have. Ask yourself: Who would my dream person be attracted to? Work toward becoming that person—because when you finally meet them, you'll know you deserve them and won't self-sabotage. If you want someone confident, become confident yourself. This mindset helps you filter out incompatible matches because you'll recognize your own worth. Consider how physically fit people often prefer dating others who are equally committed to fitness—they understand the self-discipline required and want a partner who will elevate, not hinder, their growth. The same principle applies to mental and emotional fitness.