Step 8 - Understand movies & TV shows aren’t real

Believing movies and TV shows are real can make you ignore red flags, neglect your needs, and cling to false hope. It can convince you that you don't need healing or that someone will save you. This mindset often leads to overcompensating or abandoning your boundaries.

How does this show up in dating?

People who expect rom-com-style love stories often fall victim to love bombing. They might believe they've found "the one" because that's how love appears in movies. They might wait for someone to magically rescue them from their problems, just like in films where the hero saves the damsel. They might believe they can change a problematic partner through the power of love, or that a toxic person will suddenly transform after realizing they're "the one." Some stay hung up on their ex, hoping for a movie-style reconciliation. Rom-coms can also mislead you into thinking healing isn't necessary—after all, in movies, troubled characters magically transform when they fall in love. This doesn't just hurt you—it places unrealistic pressure on your partner. Remember: no one can save you but yourself.

How to work on this?

Stop using rom-coms as your blueprint for love. Accept that real life is more nuanced. Healthy love brings peace and happiness. Yes, some people have fairytale-like love stories, but they weren't actively trying to create one—it simply happened naturally.